"It's fine.  Even though the spirit made an attempt to kill me, her plan never made it farther than stabbing me.  Anyways, it's very hard to kill me." she said with a sigh.

"Still, I feel bad that i couldn't help," she said putting the half finished wood sculpture down and laying her head down, "How am I supposed to call myself a mother if I can't even protect my very own daugher?"

"How could you have known, Mayumi.  And it is my job to GI and destroy these kinds of spirits.  I've already destroyed two.  And I can't die either, so don't take it personally." she said with a warm smile.

"You know this is something I hold close to my self. A mother is supposed to protect their child from whatever may threaten them, and I've failed twice now," she said, " I feel as though I don't deserve you or your kindness."

"Mayumi." she said sternly.  She crouched by her and put her hands on her shoulders.  "I couldn't have asked for a better mother.  I prayed and hoped that I would be able to have a mother and you answered those and became so done I thought I wasn't good enough to have.  You gave me hope in myself again.  I thought that I was someone who couldn't be loved or was wanted and you changed that.  It should be me saying I don't deserve you or your kindness.' she said quietly.  But she spoke the truth.

"I try my hardest to be kind to eaveryone I meet. With Chiei, I tried to make peace with the humans, but they took her from me in body and soul. I can't even protect you from a spirit. The very thing my own mother trained me to defend against," she said  as she turned her head to Goldenscale, "I try my hardest and all I achive is failure."

"You are the kindest soul I had met.  You and Frost both showed me a kindness I thought didn't exist in my own kind.  After that day I thought I was an outcast until yuou and Frost sort of took me in.  And you do not achieve failure, you think thou do but thou don't.  You archive much more than I could have without my magic.  Without magic I wouldn't even be able to walk, yet with you, you've done everything on your own and without magic.  You've tried so hard and you have achieve much more than you realize." she said quietly.

"All I evere wanted since i came to this world was to have a happy family, butso far all that's happen is I've lost one child and almost lost a second," she said as pain crept into her face, "The only time I haven't failed was dureing my years of being alone.  For once, I'd like to be able to have a family and nothing put it in danger, but now I see that is only a childs dream."

"Mayumi, stop with this nonsense.  You have protected me well.  You have protected me better than anyone else I have lived with." she said.  "And it's not like I have the freedom to die like everyone else..." she whispered sadly.  "I had to give up something I never wanted to give up, and I never chose this.  I'm just a lost soul that has been forgotten by heaven as well as hell.  I couldn't die even if I wanted to, nor would I feel the pain." she said quietly and going to a corner.  She then began to drag her claw deeply into her arm, not really caring.  It made her feel like she wasn't even alive because she couldn't feel pain.  "How could someone love a person with so many defects..." she whispered to herself, remembering what the shadow said about her.

"I'm sorry for being like this. it's just failure has always weighed heavely on me since loosing Chiei. The fire that blocked me last night didn't help this," she said walking over to Goldenscale, "Being a forgotten soul is much better than one that is toyed with. If you were to start a family of your own, you'd be able to defend against  anything. One day, I know I'll run into something that will be too much for me, but you will never be faced with this."

"Da** it anyways!  I can't do any thing right though!  I can't feel pain and I probably wouldn't even if I was about to die!  And even then I wouldn't be able to freakin' die!  I couldn't do sh** without magic either!  And I still can't!  I can't do anything, and no one cane change that!  Not the Chapter of Souls, not the original Firestarter, no one!  I'm just a worthless creature that shouldn't be here!" she yelled angrily.  Shegot up and punched the wall behind her as hard as she could, not caring that the gash she gave herself started to bleed.  

"Goldenscale...." she said quietly, flinching as Goldenscale punched the wall.

Goldenscale fell to her haunches, her wings spread across the ground.  "I-I-I can't do this anymore.  I can't go on acting like I can.  I just can't anymore..." she said quietly.  "I am too defective to even be called a creature.  So many things went wrong with me, and I can't fix it.  I don't care if I'm a Firestarter anymore, I just want to be a normal dragon that could feel like they truly are alive and can feel themselves be hurt and can choose to die whenever they want.  I wasn't ment to live outside of my hatching day, nor was I supposed to live this long.  I am a living mistake and I know it." she said quietly, wrapping her arms and wings around her.

Mayumi remained silent as she wrapped her wings around Goldenscale, trying to comfort her.

*Child, stop your sulking.  You were meant to live after that day.  Nature must have thought that by giving you these unusual traits that you would be able to do more than the average dragon.  Do not think ill of it, live like it was meant to be and love it.* the willow said sternly.  Goldenscale retreated into the farthest reaches of her mind to escape herself.  *Curse that stubborn child...* the willow said quietly.