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Poll: Would you be interested in reading this Web Comic?

Definitely, please make it!
 
1 votes / 33%
Maybe, I'd like to see references of it first.
 
2 votes / 67%
No, this is not well written and I will not read it.
 
0 votes / 0%
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  • EverythingSmoothie
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Posted at 2016-06-11 07:00:55 — Link

I have this story called "The Recipe For Monsters" it's quite a dark story and I've been thinking of making it into a web comic. I've taken two semesters in sequential arts and have all the resources to make it so the only thing holding me back is..... would anyone want to read it? Here is an overview of what the first chapter would be like.

The story takes place in the Victorian ages on a group of small, uncharted islands, where an evil overlord plans to take over all of the neighboring islands and enslave it's inhabitants. On one of the islands their previous king has recently died and his young son has inherited the throne. The new king meets a young woman who is poor and hungry, he invites her in, but benounced to him she is an assassin sent to kill him. As time passes the king falls in love with the woman and they are planned to be married, however, on the night before their wedding she is caught trying to assassinate the king.

The person who hired her to assassinate the king decides to off them both and burns down the palace, killing everyone inside. Both the woman and the king awaken in the 'Judgment Hall" where the woman is condemned to eternity in hell for her past evil doings and the king is permitted to enter heaven for his good deeds. The king defies God and claims that he will not abandon his love, God becomes unhappy with his descision and instead sentences them both to a reals of emptiness. Because both of them died so young God desides to create what would have been their future children and send them back down to earth to attone for their parents sins, but with a twist.

Each of their 10 children is cursed with either an evil or holy power and they are never able to die. If they should die they shall be reborn on earth once more, but the process of being re-created is painful and takes at the least a year.

The rest of the story revolves around the children growing up and battling eachother in a fight for mankind between good and evil. If you are interested in seeing what the characters would look like and some of the places in which this comic takes place please vote this positively and leave a reply as to if you're interested in reading this or not. I am currently in the process of creating reference pictures of the landscapes and characters of this comic. Thank you, I hope to get good reviews of this.


  • Sumatra_Echo
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Posted at 2016-06-11 12:59:22 — Link

Sounds interesting! I read quite a number of webcomics, and I always enjoy finding new stories. 

I'm not a writer or artist by any means, but the events you've laid out so far, while individually engaging, don't seem to really flow cohesively. The first paragraph seems to set up a story which takes place in the normal world of the living, and then suddenly everyone dies. The king's decision to condemn himself for the sake of the woman who'd proven to never have loved him at all and who got him killed is puzzling, as is God's decision to create demigod children and throw the world into chaos just because these two ordinary mortals died. I'm not seeing a clear motivation for the characters' actions. 

Is this story primarily about the children or the parents? Do the parents have any significance later on? Because if the whole story about the king and the assassin is largely exposition to explain the existence of the children and set up the rest of the story, then I feel it could be reworked into a more supernatural origin story. 

Again, just my own thoughts that you're free to take however you like. Though since you mentioned character design and setting, I'd definitely like to see those, because I think you have some great ideas here. 

Edit: I found and read the first four pages of the comic on your deviantart, as well as a few of your other comics. (Your art is fantastic, by the way!) It might go without saying, but the most important thing should be that you enjoy making it, not how many people read it. That said, I'll probably keep an eye on it if you decide to keep going; looks like it has a lot of potential. 


  • EverythingSmoothie
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Posted at 2016-06-11 19:18:59 — Link

Hello, I can see where you're coming from with the story seeming jumbled, the explination for that is that I left out lots of details in my overview. I did this so the story could not be stolen or replicad. Many more things happen than I chose to explain, however they were not as vital as some of the other information I provided.

Many of the scenes I left out are 'build-up' scenes which complete the 'circle' of the story and show why, who, when and where everything takes place. The story is primarily abou the children, who are unaware of heir parents eve having even existed. In fact once they are sent down to live on earth 100 years has passed since the kings death, although it only feels like a few minutes have passed in heaven.

As for the king choosing to stay with his lover, he had no idea of her inentions to murder him, I should have explained that beforehand but I didn't want to give away too much. He finds that she has killed one of his servants who had questioned her of her intentions. She claims she has done nothing wring and that she simply stumbled upon the crime scene. The king, being youg and foolish, believes her immediately. Therefore, he chose to stay with her, claiming that God's claims against her were false.

As for the reason God chooses to send the children down, that is completel due to their parents last sins. I assure you they are in no way 'demigods' the fact that they cannot die and go to the afterlife is a curse in itself. THey shall never be able to have true peace. God decided to give some of them evil 'powers', however he does not take away their free will of choice. Each child has a choice of whether or not to use their powers, they aren't forced to be evil or good.

As for the reference pictures I'm working on them now, although it's bound to take a while before all of them are completed. I will continue to post links to them once they are finished here for you to see.

I'm glad you like my comic, this story will be based off of that one. With that one however, I knew it wasn't the best I could do. A lot of the anatomy is 'odd' and it just doesn't look right to me. I know I can do better, to be frank I had a very limited time to make that comic, but I used up most of that time to rewrite the script, as it was originally a novel. I'm glad that you're interested in it, the main reason I wanted to know if anyone would want to read it is because it's been my dream on becoming an author, not only of comics but of all types of books. So when the thought cae to mind that I could remak my story and possibly get it self published the thought of kickstarters came to mind. But a kickstarter with no supporters is time ill spent.

Of course I'm thinking too far ahead and should acctually make the comic before I ask people to fund it. It's just be comforting to know if people acctually like my comic and it'd be a big step torwards my dream carier. Anywho, I've taken up WAY too much space with this, sorry for the long reply! I'll get those references done ASAP.

(Also, just in your opinion, but would you prrefer that it be in color or in blackkand white? I'm leaning more torwards color, just to give it more depth and feel, but making it in color would take a small bit more time than making it in black and white. I want to keep updates of it requent, but they could be delayed if it were in color, your thoughts?)


  • Sumatra_Echo
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Posted at 2016-06-12 07:07:19 — Link

Ah, okay, the king's decision makes more sense with that context. As for the children, I still find it a bit odd that such powerful immortal beings--whose choices could potentially alter the world--would be created to atone for the sins of two seemingly ordinary people. People die all the time; what is it that makes the king and his lover unique? This is why I suggested reworking this part of the story in some way. In fact, if the story is primarily about the children, maybe have the comic begin "in medias res"--start with the children, and reveal their origin story later on as they discover it themselves. Again, just my personal ideas as a non-writer.

I couldn't offer any advice on making a living as an author or comic artist, but I wish you the best of luck. Unfortunately I wouldn't be able to support your comic monetarily if you did decide to make it, as I expect would be the case for most of your readers. I imagine you'd probably be getting most of your revenue from selling ad space until you generated enough popularity to profit significantly. Still, if you're passionate, by all means go for it! 

I've read several fantastic comics that were in black and white or monochrome, and I don't find them any less engaging than colored comics. Though if you did go black and white, you might need to put more emphasis into shading to define shapes. Whichever feels most comfortable to you. 


  • EverythingSmoothie
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Posted at 2016-06-12 09:09:01 — Link

I see where you're coming from, with thw whole immortal beings spawned from two ordinary humans. That also needs more context, their mother was an increadiby evil person, she comitted sin after sin and could easily be known as one of the earths worst persons to ever have lived. Part of the reason the children were created was to attone for her sins by living lives of missery in her place. The other reason is that the evil overlord who plans to take over the islands and by extension the earth seems to have gotten away scott free, the children are also sent to putt the world back into it's balance of good and evil.

I like the way you think with the whole origin story and the big reveal. However, knowing how they were created and wy they're there is a crucial part in this story, it would be a bit odd to have the reader as confused as the characters would be. Plus, the story does not revolve around how or why the children are there, but rather around what they do throughout the story. Just to clarify these children are powerfull, but not god-like and when they die and are sent back the process is so painfull that they will guard their life as any other normal person would.

I know it's a bit confusing but I'm intentionally leaving out pices of the story because their is a big reveal at the end and I don't want to spoil it. I completely understand that I'm thinking much too far ahead, I'll have to make the comic before I even go near selling it. I do in fact think that I will make it, I mean I've already gotten started on the references, why not make it?

I also think that I will make it in color, I understand that it will be slower in terms of frequently updating, but that's a price I'm willing to pay. THis may just be my personal feelings but things just don't seem to leap out of the page if they aren't colored, they don't seem as lively. I appreciate your honest input, I know I have quite a few kinks to work out in this story but I'll get by, I'm really trying not to spoil anything, I want it to be a big surprise. :)


  • Sumatra_Echo
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Posted at 2016-06-13 11:12:12 — Link

Hmm, I see what you mean now. Of course I'd hate to learn too much too soon, so I'm happy just to see how the story plays out from there. I'll definitely try to keep tabs on your comic, sounds like it will be interesting for sure! Hope everything goes smoothly for you. 

I respect your opinion on color, of course, but since you mentioned it, I wonder if you'd be interested in me sharing a few links to some black and white comics I especially enjoy. Not necessarily for inspiration, just in case you're looking for some good reading material in your spare time. I'd have to PM them to you, though, as some of them are a bit more PG-13 than others. 

Also, thanks for entertaining my annoying nitpicking; I hope I didn't come across as too critical. 


  • EverythingSmoothie
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Posted at 2016-06-13 19:47:44 — Link

Thanks, this will definitely keep me motivated to draw more than I usually do, although the updates of this comic will be slow because I have to draw them in pencil, then scan them in, then edit them digitally ^-^" It'll be a great experience for me though and I appreciate your interest in it!

Absolutely, I always love reading web comics, I have 3 that I'm reading right now. I'm not sure if you've read them or not but I can also link them to you if you like.

You didn't come off as annoying or critical, if anything you gave a lot of good feedback as to some things I should change to be a tad more understandable. I can appreciate that. :)



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